hopeless. (a longish entry)

i've lost hope in yet another dream that i was having. the main factor that led me to this loss of hope on this thing is that deep down, sometimes unadmittedly, i'm a hopeless romantic. no matter how untrue it is, i dream for that happily ever after, or at least happilyish with a great guy. i'm sure that in some way i will get that eventually, but at this point in time my latest hope has been crushed.

background. i have not gone to many dances over the years. those that i have gone to have always been attended with female friends. while they have always been enjoyable there has always been something missing.

now. we have this thing called junior senior coming up on april 14th. it's a pretty fun thing i hear, and seeing that it is my senior year and last chance to go to a thing like this i decided to go. i had this hope that i might actually have a date for it. tickets went on sale earlier this week, and so the pressure has been on somewhat, even though it's not really pressure. there was this one person who, although it might have been a long shot, i thought might ask me to go - he was pretty much the only one who would possibly have asked me to go.

however, tonight at dinner i discovered that he had decided not to go to junior senior, and now my table is full, and i am yet again dateless. it's really disappointing. really.

it further makes me wonder why i have yet to be asked to a dance or out on a date. i know that there is nothing wrong with me. i'm a fun, laid back person, who gets along with almost everyone, why wouldn't anyone - even just a friend - ask me to something like this? i really have no idea. the whole thing makes me sad.

one day, my friends. one day.
- corrie